15.4 卢堂左叛舜 Hall-left Lu Rebels against Shun

卢堂左（即尘香）和卢堂右（即尘凡）成为正式的军人后得知：有一种培训是帮助将军组建军队。卢堂左申请了，就获得了批准，由他负责组建卢家军。然后国防部将派遣教员进入卢家军进行指导和培训。

两兄弟回到了位于武汉北部法库县的大虎山的家，劝说秀才和跤手参军。

After Hall-left Lu (aka. Dust-scent) and Hall-right Lu (Dust-mortal) became formal soldiers, they learned that there was a training program to help generals build armies. Hall-left Lu applied and was approved, becoming responsible for building the Lu Family Army. The Ministry of National Defense will then dispatch instructors to the Lu Family Army for guidance and training.

The two brothers returned to their home on Big-tiger Mountain in Faku County, north of Wuhan, to persuade Scholar and Wrestler to enlist in the army. 

这时秀才已经是大虎山乡的乡长了。卢堂左承诺给他们的军阶和军饷高，还向他们承诺剿匪赚的黄金按照军阶和功劳分配。跤手和秀才一伙三十几人一起表示有兴趣；但这个人数远远不够。根据大商朝国防部的规定，卢堂左自己组织起来的军人数要达到125人，国防部才开始予以补给和充实新兵。

秀才就成为了卢家军的军师，开始组织讨论。军队是王侯将相们做的大生意。卢堂左要组建军队就得运用他的全部积蓄；钱不够，就向银行贷款。卢堂左同意了。

By this time, Scholar had already become the township chief of Big-tiger Mountain Township. Hall-left Lu promised them high military ranks and generous pay, further assuring them that gold earned from bandit suppression would be distributed according to rank and merit. Wrestler, Scholar, and their group of over thirty men expressed interest; however, this number was far from sufficient. According to the regulations of the Great Shang Dynasty's Ministry of Defense, Hall-left Lu's self-organized force needed to reach 125 men before the Ministry would begin supplying provisions and recruiting new soldiers.

Scholar became the military strategist for Lu's army and began organizing discussions. The military was a major business venture for kings, generals, and nobles. To build his army, Hall-left Lu had to use all his savings; if funds fell short, he would take out a bank loan. Hall-left Lu agreed.

他们三十几人开始分头行动。不久他们就懂得了有经验的雇佣兵很贵，而且看见他们三位将军（卢堂左，跤手，和卢堂右）后，多数拒绝参加。银行贷款给他们的钱数很少。半个月后，卢堂左汇总了意向书，总共有95位有意向参加的人。

秀才建议卢堂左说：“士兵数不够，将军的数量够了。跤手现在认识三百多个字了；一年后就有资格参加将军考试了。”

The thirty-odd men began working in separate groups. Soon they learned that experienced mercenaries were expensive, and upon seeing their three generals (Hall-left Lu, Wrestler, and Hall-right Lu), many refused to join. The bank loaned them a meager sum. Half a month later, Hall-left Lu compiled the letters of intent, totaling 95 individuals expressing interest in participating.

Scholar advised Hall-left Lu: “We may lack soldiers, but we have enough generals. Wrestler now recognizes over three hundred characters; in a year, he'll be qualified to take the general's examination.”

2

卢堂左拿着意向书汇总向国防部征兵办公室申请宽限半个月。征兵办的秘书回答：“我没认为你是认真的，我以为你就是找个借口回家玩几天呢！组建新军可是大事，一般由皇帝亲自检阅，颁发军旗。你这种新人，很可能天蓬元帅会亲自面试你的士兵。战斗部队的人数达到73人就可以向女婴申请检阅了。你这九十多人中，有多少人可以打仗？你雇的这位将军的功夫怎么样？”

Hall-left Lu submitted the consolidated letters of intent to the Ministry of Defense's Recruitment Office, requesting a two-week extension. The office secretary replied, "I didn't take you seriously—I thought you were just looking for an excuse to go home for a few days! Forming a new army is a major undertaking, typically reviewed personally by the emperor, who issues the military banner. As a recruit, you'll likely be personally interviewed by Sky Ceiling Marshal. Once your combat unit reaches 73 soldiers, you may request an inspection. How many of your ninety-plus men are combat-ready? What are the martial arts skills of this general you've hired?"

卢堂左拿到了军队集结允许，去集结军队了。女婴拿着卢堂左的建军申请向舜王报告来了。舜王（如图15.4-1，又名夏娃，嫘祖，顺皇）惊讶地看着女婴，很长时间才回答：“这么快！我儿子要去打仗了！？他哪里弄来了那么多的兵？”

Hall-left Lu obtained permission to assemble troops and proceeded to gather his forces. Heroine presented Hall-left Lu's military establishment petition to King Shun. King Shun (as depicted in Figure 15.4-1, also known as Eve, Lei Ancestor, or Emperor Shun) stared at Heroine in astonishment, taking a long moment before responding: “So soon! My son is going to war!? Where did he find so many soldiers?”

女婴回答：“他雇的，他的雇佣费用是国家雇佣费用的三到四倍。我听说他的钱不够，向银行借了些贷款。”

舜王回答：“雇的士兵不是子弟兵！这怎么算？”

女婴回答：“就连我们这样的将军世家也没有73位子弟兵，都是由雇佣兵充实起来的数。如果同意他建军，就得让他去打仗，否则他还不上银行的贷款。”

Heroine replied, “He hired them. His recruitment costs are three to four times the national rate. I heard he didn't have enough money and took out loans from the bank.”

King Shun replied, “Hired soldiers aren't your own troops! How can that be?”

Heroine answered, “Even a military family like ours doesn't have seventy-three of our own sons. The numbers are filled with mercenaries. If you allow him to raise an army, he must be sent to battle. Otherwise, he won't be able to repay the bank loans.”

舜王回答：“我决定了，赌一把！让他打一仗，如果你发现了合适的战场，就让他去吧！他在军队的建设方面有什么新意吗？”

King Shun replied, “I've made up my mind—I'll take the gamble! Let him fight a battle. If you find a suitable battlefield, send him there! Has he introduced any new ideas regarding the development of the military?”

女婴回答：“他提出的口号是，‘卢家军是个大学堂，免费吃住学武艺，还可以读书认字。’ 他雇了两个从香港来的骗子，将在军营里开文化补习班，教士兵读书认字。”

舜王问：“怎么还雇两个骗子呢？”

Heroine replied, “His slogan is, ‘The Lu Family Army is a great academy—free room and board, martial arts training, and even literacy classes.’ He hired two con artists from Hong Kong to run literacy classes in the barracks, teaching soldiers to read and write.”

King Shun asked, “Why hire two con artists?”

女婴回答：“武汉这地方就称呼那两个香港来的下流小说作者为骗子；他俩名叫金庸和古龙。有人说人们称呼他俩为骗子是因为在他俩的小说中，他俩都是饭店老板的儿子，曾经接待过尧皇和龙王，还在第一次七夕会中接待了你和牛郎。也有人说我们南方人称呼香港人全是骗子，是因为香港人常勾结洋人，抢劫杀害内地的中国人。”

Heroine replied, “In Wuhan, they call those two vulgar novelists from Hong Kong con artists; their names are Jin Yong and Gu Long. Some say people call them con artists because in their novels, they are both sons of restaurant owners who have served Emperor Yao and the Dragon King, and even you and Cowboy at the first July 7th Day. Others say we Southerners call all Hong Kongers con artists because Hong Kongers often collude with foreigners to rob and kill Chinese people from the mainland.”

女婴继续说：“我听跟随卢堂左去征兵的人说，他一见到那俩骗子就认出来那俩人了。他俩确实是第一次七夕会中我们订饭的那两座饭店老板的儿子。当时地方政府让那俩老板找比尘香（即卢堂左）大几岁的亲戚，带这尘香和尘凡一起玩。”

Heroine continued, “I heard from the people who went with Hall-left Lu to recruit soldiers that he recognized those two con artists as soon as he saw them. They were indeed the sons of the owners of the two restaurants where we booked food at the first July 7th Day. At that time, the local government asked the two bosses to find relatives who were a few years older than Dust-scent (i.e. Hall-left Lu) to take Dust-scent and Dust-mortal to play together.”

3

卢家军集结三个月后，发展到了三百多人，就开赴战场了。战斗持续了两天半，卢堂左斩杀了三个匪首，俘虏了五十多个土匪。根据作战任务的安排，他要驻守在那里一段时间来维护社会秩序的恢复。

卢堂左他们第一次赚到了大钱，立刻放出侦察兵去寻找土匪；但发现他们的附近没土匪了，怎么回事？前文舜王说了，“让卢堂左打一仗！”

Three months after its initial gathering, Hall-left Lu's army had grown to over three hundred men before heading to the battlefield. The battle lasted two and a half days; Hall-left Lu killed three bandit leaders and captured over fifty bandits. According to the operational plan, he was to remain there for a period to maintain social order.

Hall-left Lu and his men had made a fortune for the first time and immediately sent out scouts to search for bandits; however, they found no bandits nearby. What happened? As mentioned earlier, King Shun said, "Let Hal-left Lu fight a battle!"

4

卢堂左执行驻守任务三个月后，竖起了 “反舜”的大旗。他的叛乱规模是仔细界定了的，即叛乱只局限于驻地司令部的内部。他们仍然执行常规的驻军任务，和粮草的转运。他们提出的诉求是， “商朝派大禹来谈判！”

After three months of garrison duty, Hall-left Lu raised the banner of "anti-Shun." His rebellion was carefully defined, confined to the headquarters within the garrison. They continued their regular garrison duties and the transport of provisions. Their demand was, "The Shang Dynasty should send Big Yu to negotiate!"

女婴六次派人去抓卢堂左和卢堂右，都被打败了。这怎么可能呢？那谁去平叛，都得问问是怎么回事？就有明白人转达了女婴的态度：“这俩人可不能受伤！你把他抓住了，他一着急，自残了，那也不行！”读者你看，这仗还怎么打呀！？

Heroine sent men to capture Hall-left Lu and Hall-right Lu six times, but they were defeated each time. How could this be? Anyone who went to quell the rebellion would have to find out what happened. A wise person relayed Heroine's message: "These two cannot be harmed! If you capture them, they might panic and harm themselves, and that won't work either!" Reader, you see, how can this battle be fought?!

返回《卢堂左叛舜》的目录 Return Catalog of Lu Rebels against Shun

15.3 汉文化节 Han Culture Festival

 

目录 Catalog：15.3.1 汉文化节 Han Culture Festival；15.3.2还珠格格 Princess of Return-Pearl；15.3-3 卢堂左和卢堂右被录取了 Hall-left Lu and Hall-right Lu were Admitted

15.3.1 汉文化节 Han Culture Festival

舜王（又名，夏娃，嫘祖，顺皇，如图15.3-1）收到报告，满王（现在的辽宁地区的王）来武汉朝圣。国务院总理娥黄报告说：“这位满王十几年前来朝拜过尧皇；那时他还是太子。现在老靖王（武大郎）和尧皇都已经过世了，他还亲自来朝圣，这说明辽宁是我们中华共和国的创始成员国之一，我们得好好接待呀！”

King Shun (aka. Eve, Lei Ancestor, or Emperor Shun, as shown in fig. 15.3-1) received a report that King Mandarin (a King from present-day Liaoning Province) had come to Wuhan on a pilgrimage. Prime Minister Beauty Yellow of the State Council reported: "This King Mandarin has paid homage to Emperor Yao for over a decade; that was when he was still crown prince. Now that the old King Jing (Martial Big Wolf) and Emperor Yao have both passed away, he still personally comes to pay homage. This demonstrates that Liaoning is one of the founding member states of our Chinese Republic. We must receive him with great hospitality!"

舜王回答：“我们举办个汉文化节，来为明年的顺运动（即汉化运动）做铺垫。我们举行个汉服（如图2）设计比赛；再举办个茶道（如图3至6）大赛。一方面是为了招待满王；另一方面是为了宣传汉文化。”

娥黄回答：“那我就发出通知；并且邀请几家服装设计公司和茶社来表演。我告诉他们，如果他们的设计或配方好，国家愿意出钱购买，然后在全国推广。”

King Shun replied, “We will hold a Han Culture Festival to pave the way for next year’s Shun Movement (i.e., the Sinicization Movement). We will hold a Han Cloth (as shown in Figure 2) design competition and a Tea Path competition (as shown in Figures 3 to 6). This is partly to entertain the King Mandarin and partly to promote Han culture.”

Beauty Yellow replied, “Then I will issue a notice and invite several clothing design companies and tea houses to perform. I will tell them that if their designs or recipes are good, the state is willing to pay for them and then promote them nationwide.”

15.3-2 还珠格格 Princess of Return-Pearl

据说一位街头卖艺的名叫小燕子的小女孩儿听说满王将来武汉，就要参加汉文化节，把她妈传给她的一粒珠子还给满王。她们马戏团的一位车夫给她出主意：“如果我们只是去为他们表演杂耍，你不会有机会和舜王和满王说话。我年轻的时候喜欢茶道。我配制的 ‘雨后毛尖’，还有 ‘树林子茶’ 很有特点。如果你用我配制得茶去参加茶道比赛，你就有机会和他们说几句话。”小燕子采纳了马车夫的建议，跟随马车夫去他的家里借来了茶具和茶叶。

小燕子自幼在马戏团里卖艺，善于表演。她身穿从街上买来的便宜的汉服，立刻引起了舜王的注意。小燕子就进入绝赛了。

It's said that a young street performer named Little Swallow heard King Mandarin was coming to Wuhan to attend the Han Culture Festival. She planned to return a pearl her mother had passed down to her to the King Mandarin. A driver from their circus troupe gave her advice: "If we just go to perform acrobatics for them, you won't get a chance to speak with King Shun or King Mandarin. When I was young, I loved tea path. My blends like ‘Rain-After Hairy Tip’ and ‘Forest Tea’ are quite distinctive. If you enter the tea path competition with my tea, you'll have a chance to exchange a few words with them." Little Swallow took the coachman's advice and followed him to his home to borrow tea sets and tea leaves.

Having performed in the circus since childhood, Little Swallow was skilled at entertainment. Dressed in inexpensive Han Cloth bought from the street, she immediately caught King Shun's attention. Little Swallow advanced to the final round.

当公布品茶的结果时，舜王和满王对小燕子泡的两道查都猜对了，雨后毛尖表现的是春天的气息，树林子茶表现的是夏天的树林子。哎呀这俩人高兴啊：“咱俩这茶道外行居然比专家的味觉灵敏！”舜王（即随后的顺皇）立刻召见了小燕子，表示要给小燕子颁发个特别奖，原因是这两种茶特殊，不适合成为大众文化。

小燕子表示，她所要的奖励是请舜王把她妈妈留下的珠子转交给满王。舜王立刻回答：“满王就在这里坐着呢，你把事情说清楚，看他怎么说。”

When the tea tasting results were announced, King Shun and King Mandarin correctly guessed both teas brewed by Little Swallow: The ‘Rain-After Hairy Tip’ embodied the essence of spring, while the Forest Tea captured the spirit of a summer woodland. Oh my, how delighted they were! “We amateurs in tea path have more sensitive palates than the experts!” King Shun (later Emperor Shun) immediately summoned Little Swallow, intending to award her a special prize because these two teas were too unique to become part of popular culture.

Little Swallow replied that her only reward was for King Shun to deliver the pearls left by her mother to King Mandarin. King Shun responded instantly: “King Mandarin is sitting right here. Explain your matter clearly and see what he says.”

结果，满王承认了他年轻时来汉地，曾在苏州和一位姑娘有交往，并给了她一颗微雕有龙图案的珠子。

舜王（即顺皇，嫘祖）高兴了，封小燕子为还珠格格，并认她做了干女儿。

随后茶道评审委员会重新评定了比赛的结果，认为原定的冠军“茉莉花茶”仍然是国家购买的对象，评定小燕子以“雨后毛尖（茶）”和“树林子（茶）”取得了冠军。原因是这两种茶不特殊，而且是茶道爱好者所喜欢的。

As a result, the King Mandarin admitted that during his youth in Han territory, he had once been involved with a young woman in Suzhou and had given her a bead intricately carved with a dragon pattern.

King Shun (aka. White-king Shun, Lei Ancestor) was delighted. She bestowed upon Little Swallow the title of Princess Returning-Pearl and formally adopted her as her goddaughter.

Subsequently, the Tea Path Evaluation Committee reassessed the competition results. They determined that the originally crowned champion, “Jasmine Tea,” would remain the national procurement choice. They awarded the championship to Little Swallow for her “Rain-After Hairy Tip Tea” and “Forest Tea.” The rationale was that these two teas, while not particularly unique, were favored by tea path enthusiasts.

15.3-3 卢堂左和卢堂右被录取了 Hall-left Lu and Hall-right Lu were Admitted

这时，女婴来茶道比赛看热闹，在舜王的耳边叨咕：“有两个用我教给牛郎的功夫的年轻人，表现不错！”

舜王（即顺皇）惊讶地回答：“你骗我！你教给牛郎的功夫有什么特别吗？”

女婴回答：“打仗是掉脑袋的事，我怎么能在这方面开玩笑呢！我教给牛郎的功夫不特别，但牛郎学到的功夫特别。我肯定没看错；那俩人有六七处和牛郎犯同样的错误！”

Just then, Heroine came to watch the tea path competition and whispered in King Shun's ear, "Two young men using the skills I taught Cowboy performed quite well!"

King Shun (aka. White-king Shun) replied in surprise, "You're lying to me! Is there anything special about the skills you taught Cowboy?"

Heroine answered, "War is a matter of life and death; how could I joke about such affairs! The skills I taught Cowboy aren't special, but the skills Cowboy learned are. I'm sure I didn't see wrong; those two made six or seven of the same mistakes as Cowboy!"

舜王吩咐：“那你安排一下，别让他俩看见我。我要亲眼看看。你也再找几个人，再仔细看看。”

顺皇看完卢堂左（即尘香）和卢堂右（即尘凡）与几个她知道的将军比武之后，对女婴说：“没打过仗的兵没什么用。你认为他俩能打仗吗？”

King Shun instructed, "Then make arrangements so that neither of them sees me. I want to see it with my own eyes. Also, find a few more people to take a closer look."

After watching Hall-left Lu (Dust-scent) and Hall-right Lu (Dust-mortal) compete with several generals she knew, Emperor Shun said to Heroine, "Soldiers who have never fought are useless. Do you think they can fight?"

女婴回答：“打仗就可能死人！我不敢给出意见。”

顺皇说：“这是我自己的决定！先把他们俩留下；打仗的事我要考虑两周。”一周后，舜王通知女婴，她决定冒险一次！

Heroine replied, "Fighting may kill people! I dare not give any advice."

Emperor Shun said, "This is my own decision! Keep them for now; I will think about the battle for two weeks." A week later, Emperor Shun informed Heroine, she decided to take a risk!

返回《卢堂左叛舜》的目录 Return Catalog of Lu Rebels against Shun

15.2-7 铁律 Iron Law

 

目录 Catalog：15.2-4 寻找金童和玉女 Searching for Gold Boy and Jade Girl；15.2-5 阉割郑伦和陈奇 Castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange；15.2-6 女婴向舜王汇报 Heroine Reported to King Shun；15.2-7 铁律 Iron Law

15.2-4 寻找金童和玉女 Searching for Gold Boy and Jade Girl

尘香要求看看金童和玉女。郑伦和陈奇回答没见过。尘香生气了，要求他们俩靠墙站着，让尘凡用箭射他们俩的袖扣。郑伦和陈奇完全屈服了，承诺：一切听从尘香和尘凡的指挥！

Dust-scent demanded to see Gold Boy and Jade Girl. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied that they had never seen them. Dust-scent became angry and ordered them to stand against the wall so Dust-mortal could shoot their cufflinks with arrows. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange completely submitted, promising to obey Dust-scent and Dust-mortal's commands in everything!

沉香对郑伦和陈奇说：“你们俩负责管理这座汉窑，为我外公玉皇大帝制造汉神，辅佐他来统治这个世界。你们学习上帝的知识（如图35至38，参见9.9节），怎么能没有金童和玉女的模特儿。这么办吧！我帮你们挑选出金童和玉女！”

Dust-scent said to Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, “You two are responsible for managing this Han kiln and creating Hans (i.e., Gods) for my grandfather, Turquoise White-king Great Creator, to assist him in ruling this world. You are studying the knowledge of God (Figures 35 to 38, see section 9.9), how can you do without models for Gold Boy and Jade Girl? Let’s do this! I will help you choose the Gold Boy and Jade Girl!”

郑伦和陈奇同意了。

尘香从他们的学习材料里找出了辨别金童和玉女的考题，挑选出了一些汉来考试。随后，尘香让郑伦和陈奇也参加了考试。

尘香看了看答卷，说：“郑伦和陈奇是金童和玉女类型的人！你们俩跟我们走一趟吧！别人不准跟着，全部进入会议室！”除了郑伦和陈奇，尘香和尘凡把其他的所有人都锁在了会议室里了。

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange agreed.

Dust-scent found the test questions for identifying Gold Boy and Jade Girl from their study materials and selected some questions to test. Then, Dust-scent had Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange take the test as well.

Dust-scent glanced at the answer sheet and said, “Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange are the golden boy and jade girl types! You two come with us! No one else is allowed to follow—everyone else, into the conference room!” Except for Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, Dust-scent and Dust-mortal locked everyone else inside the conference room.

15.2-4 阉割郑伦和陈奇 Castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange

尘香把郑伦和陈奇绑架到了已经选好了的作案地点，对尘凡说：“我把他们俩阉了来给大禹叔叔报仇，你觉得怎么样？”

尘凡同意了。

尘香对尘凡商量说：“我去村里找个劁猪的来给他们俩做手术。你看守着他们俩，可别自己动手！”

Dust-scent kidnapped Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange to the pre-selected crime scene and said to Dust-mortal, "I'm going to castrate them to avenge Uncle Big Yu. What do you think?"

Duts-mortal agreed.

Dust-scent then consulted with Duts-mortal, saying, "I'll go to the village and find a pig castrator to perform the surgery on them. You stay and watch over them, but don't do it yourself!"

当尘香带着劁猪匠回来时，郑伦和陈奇已经骗尘凡为他俩解开了绳子。尘香再次绑好了他们俩，然后示意劁猪匠去阉割他们。劁猪匠过去一看，那是两个人，拒绝劁人。

尘凡拿着那把屠龙刀对劁猪匠说：“嗨！你的刀和我的刀的形状一样，但我的刀大。你若不用你的那把小刀劁他们俩，我就用这把大刀劁你！”

When Dust-scent returned with the castrator, Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange had already tricked Dust-mortal into untying them. Dust-scent retied them and then gestured for the castrator to castrate them. The castrator went over and saw two people, refusing to be castrated.

Dust-mortal, holding the Dragon-Slaying Knife, said to the castrator, "Hey! Your knife and mine are the same shape, but mine is bigger. If you don't use your small knife to castrate them, I'll use this big knife on you!"

劁猪匠仔细一看，他的劁猪刀和尘凡的屠龙刀确实是一个样式，回答：“我这是最新的劁猪刀样式！你那把屠龙刀怎么那么大？”

劁猪匠别无选择，回去就把郑伦和陈奇劁了，拿着银子就跑了。

当尘香为郑伦和陈奇解开绳子后，这俩人站起来就跑了。

The castrator looked closely and realized his castration knife and Dust-mortal's Dragon-Slaying Knife were indeed the same style. He replied, "Mine is the latest style of castration knife! Why is your Dragon-Slaying Knife so big?"

The pig castrator had no choice but to go back and castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, then ran away with the money.

After Dust-scent untied Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, the two men jumped up and ran off.

15.2-6 女婴向舜王汇报 Heroine Reported to King Shun

女婴很快就收到了汉窑被打劫的消息。据说女婴害怕了，她请娥黄陪她一起去向舜王（即顺皇）汇报。娥黄也很害怕，这俩人像是犯了错误似的，低头站在舜王的面前。

舜王问：“什么东西被抢了？”

女婴回答：“除了郑伦和陈奇被阉了，没有别的财产损失。”

Heroine soon received news of the looting of the Han kiln. It is said that Heroine was frightened and asked Beauty Yellow to accompany her to report to King Shun (Emperor Shun). Beauty Yellow was also very frightened; the two of them stood before King Shun with their heads bowed, as if they had committed a crime.

King Shun asked, "What was stolen?"

Heroine replied, "Besides Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange being castrated, there was no other property loss."

舜王问：“谁干的？”

女婴回答：“不知道！那俩人给了那个劁猪匠一个银元宝。随后，那个银元宝被强盗抢走了，没留下任何证据。”

King Shun asked, "Who did it?" Heroine replied, "I don't know! Those two men gave the pig castrator a silver ingot. Then, the silver ingot was stolen by robbers, leaving no evidence."

舜王很长时间没说话。

女婴和娥黄问：“您看这事，应该怎么处理？”

舜王回答：“我儿子已经为我处理完了，还处理什么？”

King Shun remained silent for a long time.

Heroine and Beauty Yellow asked, "What do you think should be processed about this?"

King Shun replied, "My son has processed for me. What else is there to process of?"

女婴和娥黄转身向外走。舜王忽然说：“等等，你们俩可别说这话是我说的！”

女婴和娥黄异口同声地回答：“我们不傻！”

女婴问：“是现在就把郑伦和陈奇给您送来，还是训练一段时间后再给您送来？”

舜王回答：“先送过来，我看看！”

Heroine and Beauty Yellow turned to leave. King Shun suddenly said, "Wait, you two, don't say I said that!"

Heroine and Beauty Yellow replied in unison, "We're not stupid!"

Heroine asked, "Should we send Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange to you now, or after they've been trained for a while?"

King Shun replied, "Send them over first, let me see!"

15.2-7 铁律 Iron Law

郑伦和陈奇被送到了舜王的接待室。舜王问：“谁干的？”

郑伦和陈奇回答：“是尘香！”

舜王回答：“嗯！？是我儿子干的！？”

郑伦和陈奇立刻否认道：“不是！不是！”

舜王不高兴了，离开了。

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were taken to King Shun's reception room. King Shun asked, "Who did it?"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied, "It was Dust-scent!"

King Shun replied, "Hmm!? My son did it!?"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange immediately denied it, "No! No!"

King Shun was displeased and left.

周围的护卫们给郑伦和陈奇出主意：“你得说是尘香干的！尘香是舜王的儿子。如果舜王问你，‘怎么办？’ 你回答，‘戴罪立功！’”

郑伦和陈奇同意这么说了。护卫们进去提醒舜王：郑伦和陈奇还在外面跪着呢！

The guards around Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange offered them advice: "You have to say it was Dust-scent who did it! Dust-scent is King Shun's son. If King Shun asks you, 'What should we do?' you answer, 'We'll atone for our crimes through meritorious service!'"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange agreed. The guards went inside to remind King Shun that Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange are still kneeling outside!

舜王出来了，看见郑伦和陈奇后又问：“谁干的？”

郑伦和陈奇回答：“是你儿子，尘香干的。”

舜王想了想，回答：“你们俩想让我怎么处理？”

郑伦和陈奇回答：“我们愿意戴罪立功！”

King Shun emerged and, seeing Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, asked, "Who did it?"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied, "It was your son, Dust-scent."

King Shun thought for a moment and asked, "What do you two want me to do?"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied, "We are willing to atone for our crimes through meritorious service!"

舜王对护卫说：“带他们俩下去吧！让他们俩再想想！”

郑伦和陈奇被关押进了死牢。

这是怎么回事？前文说了，女娲造人出错了，因为郑伦和陈奇是同性恋，社会的败类。现在，他们俩肯定不会再搞同性恋了，所以女娲（即舜王）造人继续。造人的过程中，都有吓唬金童的事件（参见第14章的六个上帝造人的事例）。受惊吓与精神病相关，这在精神病学里被誉为铁律。

King Shun said to his guards, "Take them both away! Let them think it over again!"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were imprisoned in a death row cell.

What's going on here? As mentioned earlier, Nüwa's creation of humans went awry because Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were homosexuals—scourges of society. Now that they're no longer engaging in homosexuality, Nüwa (i.e., King Shun) continues her creation. Throughout the creation process, incidents of frightening the gold boy occurred (see Chapter 14's account of the Six Gods creating humanity). Such fright is linked to mental illness—a principle regarded as an iron law in psychiatry.

郑伦和陈奇被关进了死牢，就将被处死了，当然很害怕。他们俩犯了什么罪？他们是守窑的将军，他们的薪水是普通将军薪水的三倍，说法上是守窑的将军不能战败！因为守窑的将军战败了，那汉窑的200至300位汉神就被冻死了。现在他们俩战败了，为国家造成了巨大的损失。

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were locked in death row, awaiting execution, and were naturally terrified. What crime had they committed? They were generals guarding the kiln, receiving salaries three times that of ordinary generals. By decree, generals guarding the kiln could not be defeated! For if the kiln-guarding generals were defeated, the 200 to 300 Han Gods within the Han Kiln would freeze to death. Now that they had suffered defeat, they had inflicted immense loss upon the nation.

那么，那些舜王的护卫给他们俩出主意，让他们俩戴罪立功是什么意思？意思是你们俩输给了舜王的儿子，龙的儿子，还可以接受。你们俩回去继续守窑，别让那200至300位汉神冻死了，就立功了。

几天后，郑伦和陈奇被女婴接了出去，送她们俩去和将军一起训练了。

So, what did the guards of King Shun mean when they suggested the two of them atone for their mistakes by performing meritorious deeds? It meant that since you two lost to the son of King Shun, the son of the Dragon, it was still acceptable. Go back and continue guarding the kiln—just make sure those 200 to 300 Han Gods don't freeze to death, and you'll have done your duty.

A few days later, Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were taken away by Heroine and sent to train alongside the generals.

返回《卢堂左叛舜》的目录 Return Catalog of Lu Rebels against Shun

15.2 卢堂右复仇 Hall-Right Lu's Revenge

 

目录 Catalog：15.2-4 寻找金童和玉女 Searching for Gold Boy and Jade Girl；15.2-5 阉割郑伦和陈奇 Castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange；15.2-6 女婴向舜王汇报 Heroine Reported to King Shun；15.2-7 铁律 Iron Law

15.2-1 兄弟俩毕业了The Two Brothers Graduated

这天卢堂左（又名尘香）和卢堂右（又名尘凡）两兄弟完成了桥峰对他们俩去参加武官考试的准备训练，高兴地向家里走。桥峰还把屠龙刀的刀样子奖励给了卢堂右。卢堂左警惕地嘱咐弟弟说：“这把刀是铁的，不能开刃，一磨就坏了！”

卢堂右回答：“我知道！我信守对你的承诺，在22岁之前不磨刀，不杀人！所以，我不能和你一起去参加将军入学考试！我自己留在这里，等候你的好消息！”

That day, the brothers Hall-left Lu (aka. Dust-scent) and Hall-right Lu (aka. Dust-mortal) finished the training Bridge-Peak had given them for the military officer examination and happily headed home. Bridge-Peak even rewarded Hall-right Lu with a sample of the Dragon-Slaying Saber. Hall-left Lu cautiously instructed his younger brother, "This saber is made of iron; it cannot be sharpened. Sharpening it will ruin it!"

Hall-right Lu replied, "I know! I will keep my promise to you and will not sharpen my knife or kill anyone before I turn 22! Therefore, I cannot go with you to take the general's entrance exam! I will stay here and wait for your good news!"

卢堂左反驳道：“我自己去参加将军入学考试就考不上了！你和我一起去，咱俩是兄弟，他们喜欢送亲兄弟一起上战场，所以给咱俩各加三分。没有那三分，我考不上；咱俩的水平比那些武术世家的考生差多了。另外，没有你，我不能实施叛乱来营救大禹叔叔。我自己打不过女婴阿姨；我一叛乱，就被她给抓起来了。”

Hall-left Lu retorted, "I wouldn't pass the general's entrance exam on my own! You come with me; we're brothers, and they like to send brothers to the battlefield together, so they give us each three extra points. Without those three points, I won't pass; our skills are far inferior to those candidates from martial arts families. Besides, without you, I can't carry out the rebellion to rescue Uncle Big Yu. I can't beat Aunt Heroine on my own; if I rebelled, she would arrest me."

卢堂右回答：“那你见着她就逃，然后想办法射伤她。”

卢堂左说：“我想过多次了。女婴阿姨是咱舅爷二郎神和咱舅姥姥尧皇花费了三十几年培养出来的天蓬元帅。我们不能伤害她。她受伤了，中华共和国的天蓬就塌了，会引起数千万人流离失所，数百万人死于战争。”

Hall-right Lu replied, “Then you run away when you see her, and find a way to wound her.”

Hall-left Lu said, “I've thought about it many times. Auntie Heroine is the Sky Ceiling Marshal, cultivated over thirty years by our maternal grandpa Second Wolf God and our maternal grandma White-king Yao. We cannot harm her. If she is injured, the sky of the Republic of China will collapse, causing tens of millions to be displaced and millions more to die in war.”

2如何复仇 How to Take Revenge

卢堂右问：“你想怎样为咱爹报仇？”

卢堂左回答：“我想这事很多次了。首先说，我们不能杀她。我已经跟你说过了，咱爹牛郎一辈子只做过三件值得骄傲的事。第一件事就是娶小龙女（即舜王，嫘祖）为妻。他是咱爹最心爱的女人。第二，她是咱大商朝的黄帝，刺杀她会引起社会的动乱。第三，他是咱大禹叔叔的妻子；咱俩杀她对不起大禹叔叔。”

Hall-right Lu asked, “How do you plan to avenge our father?”

Hall-left Lu replied, "I've thought about these many times. First, we cannot kill her. I've already told you—our father, Cowboy, accomplished only three truly proud deeds in his lifetime. The first was marrying the Little Dragoness (i.e., King Shun, Lei Ancestor). She was the woman he cherished most. Second, she is White-king Creator (Emperor) of our great Shang Dynasty. Assassinating her would spark social upheaval. Third, she is the wife of our Uncle Big Yu. Killing her would betray Uncle Yu."

卢堂右叨咕：“这么说我们就不杀她了。那我们得让她难受一下，先杀两个汉猪！”

卢堂左说：“我现在想出的报仇的方法是：把她绑架到一个地方，让她跪在咱爹的灵牌前给咱爹道歉半个月。”

卢堂右叨咕：“怎么就半个月呢？怎么也得三个月啊！？”

Hall-right Lu muttered, “So we won't kill her after all. But we'll make her suffer—start by slaughtering a couple of Han pigs!”

Hall-left Lu said, “My plan for revenge is this: kidnap her to some place, make her kneel before our father's spirit tablet, and apologize to him for half a month.”

Hall-right Lu grumbled, “Why only half a month? It should be at least three months!”

卢堂左回答：“她是皇帝，国不可一日无君，半个月可能已经是极限了！”

兄弟俩商量了很长的时间，卢堂右决定如果卢堂左杀两个汉猪（即汉神，土地老），他就跟随卢堂左进京赶考。卢堂左同意了。

Hall-left Lu replied, “She's the emperor. The country can't go a single day without a ruler. Half a month might already be the absolute limit!”

The brothers deliberated for a long time. Hall-right Lu decided that if Hall-left Lu could slay two Han pigs (referring to the Han Gods, the Local Gods), he would accompany Hall-left Lu to the capital to take the imperial examinations. Hall-left Lu agreed.

15.2-3 争夺金刚杵Contending for the Philosopher-stone Pestle

两兄弟来到郑伦和陈奇（如图15.2-3）守护的汉窑旁边，寻找了个交通方便又僻静的作案地点，把屠龙刀藏好了。卢堂左嘱咐弟弟说：“先说好了，由我来杀，你看着！你不能动手！我有十几次的作战经验，你没有！”

卢堂右回答：“好！我只是看着，若不是我看见你有危险，我不出手！你哪来的作战经验？”

The two brothers arrived near the Han kiln guarded by Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange (see fig. 15.2-3). They found a secluded spot with convenient access and hid the Dragon-Slaying Saber. Hall-left Lu instructed his brother, "Let's make this clear first: I'll do the killing. You watch! You can't lift a finger! I have over ten combat experiences, you don't!"

Hall-right Lu replied, "Fine! I'll just watch. If I don't see you in danger, I won't make a move! Where would you get your combat experience?"

卢堂左回答：“以前我常跟随林冲和路引执行治安任务。我还去大虎山帮秀才和跤手修理丐帮和少林寺的秃驴两次了。”

卢堂右问：“秀才和跤手负责向外发钱，怎么还和别人起冲突了呢？”

卢堂左回答：“发钱是为了帮助对社会有用的人尽快在大虎山地区安顿下来。他俩不给乞丐，少林秃驴，和那些奸懒谗猾的人钱，那些社会的渣滓就有意见了，闹事！”

Hall-left Lu replied, "I used to often accompany Before-charging and Path-leader on security missions. I even went to Dahushan (Big-tiger Mountain) twice to help Scholar and Wrestler deal with the beggars and the bald donkeys from Shaolin Temple."

Hall-Right Lu asked, "Scholar and Wrestler were in charge of distributing money, so how did they get into a conflict with others?"

Hall-left Lu replied, "Distributing money was to help those useful to society settle down in the Dahushan area as quickly as possible. If they didn't give money to the beggars, Shaolin Bald Donkeys, and those lazy, cunning people, those social scum would complain and cause trouble!"

郑伦和陈奇听说尘香（卢堂左）和尘凡（卢堂右）来参观他们的汉窑了，迎接出来了。进到礼堂后，尘香和尘凡注意到了主座后面的墙上供着女娲家的 “彤弓素矢（如图15.2-1，2；注1）” 和 “金刚降魔杵（如图3；注2）”。尘香问：“那弓箭和棍子很好看，能用吗？”

注1，“彤弓素矢” 是集谛（参见第13章）的异名。集起是佛智，佛教哲学的代表。

注2，金刚杵是法四分（参见10.1节）的象征，是佛学理论的轴。

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, hearing that Dust-scent (Hall-left Lu) and Dust-mortal (Hall-right Lu) had come to visit their Han Kiln, came out to greet them. Upon entering the hall, Dust-scent and Dust-mortal noticed the "Red Bow and Natural Arrow (Figures 15.2-1, 2)" and the "Philosopher-stone Pestle (Figure 3)" of Nuwa's family commonwealth-ed on the wall behind the main seat. Dust-scent asked, "Those bow and arrow and the staff are very beautiful; can they be used?"

Note 1: “Red Bow and Natural Arrow” is an alternative name for Aggregate Crux (see chapter 13), represents Buddha’s Intelligence, embodying Buddhist philosophy.

Note 2: Philosopher-stone Pestle is a symbol of the Juristic Quadrants (see Section 10.1), serving as the axis of Buddhist doctrine.

郑伦和陈奇立刻回答：“能用，这是顺皇命令人打造的，送给我们俩的，所以我们俩把这两件武器作为圣物供了起来！” 郑伦说着，登上凳子，取下了那两件武器。尘凡接过了弓箭，就开始练习射。

陈奇拿着金刚降魔杵，一边指给卢堂右看一边说：“这棍尖是金刚做的，可以戳穿盔甲。这棍子的大头是个锤子。你妈舍不得往里面灌金子，所以这个锤心是银子做的，外面包着的是金刚。”

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange immediately replied, "They work! Emperor Shun ordered them to be made and gave them to us, so we've commonwealth-ed these two weapons as sacred objects!" Correct-ethic said, climbing onto a stool and taking down the two weapons. Dust-mortal took the bow and arrow and began practicing shooting.

Exhibit-strange, holding the Philosopher-stone Pestle, pointed to it and said to Dust-scent, "The tip of this staff is made of Philosopher-stone; it can pierce armor. The large end of the staff is a hammer. Your mother couldn't bear to fill it with gold, so the hammer core is made of silver, and the outside is covered with Philosopher-stone."

尘香接过了金刚降魔杵，说：“原来这棍子的大头可当锤子用！我才明白第十三式 ‘金刚卸甲’是什么意思。”说着，他对陈奇比划着，“这招是这样敲击金刚武士的盔甲的！”

陈奇看出尘香和尘凡喜欢这两件武器，想要，就说：“你妈定做金刚降魔杵的时候，她就做了三根。一根她自己用，一根送给我了。还有一根仍然在她的房间里放着呢，舍不得给大禹。我们俩可以帮你把那只金刚杵要来。”

Dust-scent took the Philosopher-stone Pestle and said, "So the big end of this staff can be used as a hammer! Now I understand what the thirteenth move, 'Philosopher-stone Armor Removal,' means." He then gestured to Exhibit-strange, "This is how you strike the armor of a philosopher-stone warrior!"

Exhibit-strange noticed that Dust-scent and Dust-mortal liked the two weapons and wanted them, so he said, "When your mother ordered the Philosopher-stone Pestle, she made three. She used one herself, gave one to me, and the third one is still in her room; she can't bear to give it to Big Yu. We can help you get that Philosopher-stone Pestle."

尘香听后，不高兴了；他用力地把金刚杵的尖头戳进桌面，把金刚杵立在了桌子上。郑伦和陈奇还没明白这哥俩是干什么来了，要过来劝说：“金刚杵只是说法，它或许没那么结实！”

Upon hearing this, Dust-scent became displeased; he forcefully jabbed the tip of the Philosopher-stone Pestle into the table, making it stand upright. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, still confused about what the two brothers were up to, tried to intervene, saying, "The Philosopher-stone Pestle is just a symbol; it might not be that sturdy!"

尘香过去把正在靠近的郑伦和陈奇摔到了墙边，并顺手抽出了他们的佩剑，扔到了桌子的下面。这时，门外的卫兵听见了打斗，跑了进来。郑伦和陈奇从地上爬起来后，发现尘凡的弓箭正对着他们俩，慌忙地举起手，做出了投降的姿势，并命令卫兵放下武器，不许伤害尘香和尘凡。

Dust-scent slammed Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, who were approaching, against the wall, and casually drew their swords, throwing them under the table. At that moment, the guards outside, hearing the fighting, rushed in. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange got up and found Dust-mortal's bow and arrows pointed at them. They hurriedly raised their hands in surrender and ordered the guards to drop their weapons and not harm Dust-scent and Dust-mortal.

尘凡惊讶地对尘香说：“我真不知道大哥你这么厉害！我没他们俩的力气大，打不过他们俩！”

尘香说：“那你射掉郑伦的盔缨，表示你打败他了。”

Dust-mortal said to Dust-scent in surprise, "I really didn't know you were so powerful, brother! I'm not as strong as the two of them, I can't beat them!"

Dust-scent said, "Then shoot off Correct-ethic's helmet plume to show that you defeated him."

郑伦和陈奇还在表示反对，尘凡已经射断了郑伦的盔缨。陈奇见状，慌忙地摘下了头盔。沉香对尘凡说：“那你射陈奇拿着头盔手的袖扣！”

据说陈奇听后，被吓得尿裤子了。尘凡果然射中了陈奇的袖扣。

郑伦和陈奇都表示：把彤弓素矢和金刚杵送给你们俩！

While Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were still protesting, Dust-scent had already shot off Correct-ethic's helmet plume. Seeing this, Exhibit-strange hurriedly removed his helmet. Dust-scent said to Dust-mortal, "Then shoot Exhibit-strange in the cufflink of the hand holding the helmet!"

It is said that Exhibit-strange was so frightened by this that he wet his pants. Dust-scent indeed hit Exhibit-strange's cufflink.

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange both declared: We will give the ‘red bow and natural arrows’, and the ‘Philosopher-stone Pestle’ to you!

返回《卢堂左叛舜》的目录Return Catalog of Lu Rebels against Shun